My students are up to something. They keep coming up to me and handing me pieces of fruit, and when I ask why, they just smile cryptically and say, “Don’t worry about it.”
Like, the apples I get. That’s a teacherly thing to give. But one of them just straight up handed me a grape.
I took a sick day today and sent an email to the first girl to hand me a piece of fruit, asking if I could have an explanation now.
Her response was to send me this meme:
That clarifies exactly nothing, thanks.
Walked into school today to an email from her saying: “There’s more to come, hope it doesn’t leave you *sour* (you’ll get that later).”
Ominous.
Just before my first class of the day, one of my students came floating in, a black cloak billowing behind her, hood pulled low over her eyes.
“An offering,” she said, handing me a plain white bag with a green ribbon.
Inside is this:
Life gave me a plastic lemon.
WE HAVE AN ANSWER!
Apparently this was the result of a number of my students playing Truth or Dare at a birthday party. I’m not sure which one of them came up with “I dare you to confuse Magistra by handing her a piece of fruit without explanation”, but I 100% approve of any thought process that ends with me getting free food.
Did I ever mention the time that I found out my lecturer was the ghost in one of my classmate’s home town?
Righto. So a couple years ago I took a Myths and Legends class for uni. The lecturer was this really incredible guy. Loved history. Dressed, everyday, to the nines. Top hat, waistcoat, leather shoes etc. In one of the introductory classes he had us share stories we had heard, local myths and legends from the towns we grew up in. I was studying in Ballarat, an Australian town with a rich ghost history and so it made sense that a lot of people had answers. This one girl, however, grew up in a small rural town a couple hours away and talked about the ghost she knew of from when she was in high school. Every night, at the same time of night (about 3am), people recounted seeing a Victorian man walk across the golf field. This one was particularly interesting because she had seen herself. That is, where other people had just heard these stories, she knew that what had been talked about was real.
This was when he turned red. It had turned out that when he was studying for his undergrad he was living in this particular town. Not many people knew him because he didn’t grow up there. He would spend countless nights up late working and so to wind would go on long late night walks. At 3am, every night. In the full garb he wore everyday.
It had turned out that him being the stand out that he was, had birthed a legend. He had known about it but never did he think it would catch up with him.
So i went on a date to a haunted house and made friends with the girls behind us. As we’re going through, one of them is holding my hand and a guy leaps out and separates us. I panic as my date is pulling me along, I reach back for her and grab her hand in a group of three other performers and start getting out if there. After a bit I look back to check on her and I discover I’m holding the hand of a six foot tall zombie creature and not a 5'2" girl.
Cue the most terrifying realization of my life.
I had basically kidnapped this performer from his section and abandoned the girl and her friend behind us.
Yes, I screamed. My date thought it was Hilarious.
Yes, we found the girls. Turns out when I grabbed the performers hand, he grabbed theirs so our group wouldn’t be separated. So there was just this zombie in the middle of our group line for like fifty feet
